"I feel like I’m always [going] in order not to have to deal with things. I was always working and that was where I was kind of happy," said the Twilight star.
Twilight Saga star Ashley Greene, who is best known for playing Alice Cullen, is opening up about her struggles with anxiety, which began on her first press tour for Twilight.
Greene spoke to Us Weekly about her mental health, where she said “it started with panic attacks.”
“I didn’t recognize negative self-talk or intrusive thoughts until much later, but the panic attacks, as soon as I had my first one, I thought I was going to die,” said Greene, 36.
“It was something that I just couldn’t ignore and I could not push down,” she continued. “I was really good at suppressing my feelings and issues in order to get the job done or continue on.”
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“The first time I had a panic attack, it was right before I was going to do my first cover photo shoot. It was right when the press tour was happening with Twilight and I was terrified,” she shared.
Greene also clarified that these panic attacks didn’t happen “on set or at a photo shoot or during an interview,” but when she was “alone” and in “the slowdown moment.”
“I feel like I’m always [going] in order not to have to deal with things. I was always working and that was where I was kind of happy,” added Greene.
“And so when I finally stopped was when things really started to show themselves and rear their ugly heads. Rather than going, ‘I should go to therapy for this,’ or, ‘Maybe this is something where I should really look internally and see what the issue is,’ I kind of said, ‘Alright, I can’t feel these things.’
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“Then I started having intrusive thoughts and it was still manifesting and bubbling underneath the surface because I hadn’t properly dealt with it,” she continued.
“I didn’t look for therapy, I wasn’t talking to people [about] my feelings, I wasn’t looking at what was causing them. I was just going, ‘Oh, I can take this pill and cover it up.’ And that was a big problem for me.”
Now, Greene said that her husband Paul Khoury has been a “really huge part of my mental health journey.”
“I’ve kind of worked through a lot of things, [where] I can start to recognize when that panic and that anxiety is coming on and that’s when I reach out to my husband because just expressing things is really helpful.”
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