Fed up with online dating, I handed out ‘I think you’re cute’ cards to strangers. Here’s what happened next…

• Sophie read about dating cards on Twitter, where they are a trend in New York
• READ MORE:  Relationship expert reveals what you should and shouldn’t include on your dating app profile

My legs shook as I fumbled desperately through my handbag. Agonising seconds passed before my trembling fingers managed to extract what I was hunting for: a small piece of card no bigger than my debit card.

This, I was convinced, could finally be my key to romantic paradise.

Trying to show an equanimity I did not feel, I moved with speed, my target firmly in my sights: early 30s, dark-haired, a kind smile. I passed him my card quickly, to his evident surprise, before fleeing the train carriage, as the blood roared in my ears.

What on earth, you might ask, was I up to?

Well, although my mother always told me not to approach a stranger — certainly never on public transport — I had become so sick of the heart-crushing sterility of dating apps, I decided to take a new approach to finding love.

Writer Sophie Cockerham was so fed up with using dating apps that she decided to try a different approach: ‘I think you’re cut’ dating cards 

Forget swiping right. I had printed my own ‘dating cards’ — think business cards, but for flirting. 

And it was this card that I handed out on the Tube, hoping a direct approach might be more rewarding than recent disappointing adventures on the app Hinge.

My card’s message was simple: ‘H! I think you’re cute. My name is Sophie. I’m bored of dating apps, so if you think I’m cute as well, then get in touch.’ It also carried my Instagram handle and email address.

So could dating cards be the modern Cupid’s arrow I needed?

Surely, they couldn’t be worse than dating apps. Since finding myself single in January 2022 after a seven-year relationship broke down, my online attempts to find a boyfriend had only succeeded in finding the most emotionally unavailable men in London.

I first read about dating cards on Twitter, where they are a trend in — where else? — New York.

The next day, I had 50 self-designed dating cards printed. Now I just had to find the courage to hand them out: me, who has never in my 29 years given my number out in a bar, or chatted up a stranger.

Once Sophie had designed her dating card (pictured) and had them printed, she just had to find the courage to hand them out 

But ‘business’ cards were different — they were a ‘hit-and-run’ approach, with very little small talk involved. Surely I could cope with that… couldn’t I?

That night I was going to a comedy show with a friend, Eliza. ‘Perfect,’ I thought. ‘A room full of men with a sense of humour.’

Armed with half my cards, I walked to the Tube station — and saw a man who was just my type coming towards me.

Reaching into my bag, heart pounding, I went to pass him my details… and froze on the spot, while he passed me by, oblivious.

I was annoyed at myself. I’d not paid good money on the stupid cards to just not hand them out!

Attempting to shake off the nerves and arriving to meet Eliza, I eagerly awaited my next opportunity. But when we walked into the venue, it was packed with girls enjoying a fun night out.

And when comedian Grace Campbell asked if there were any single, straight men in the 750-strong crowd, there was silence.

‘Not one person?’ Grace roared. ‘I’m going home!’ You and me both.

Sophie hands out one of her dating cards to Lucas Salge in London. She also gave them out on public transport and in her hometown of Leeds 

Undeterred, Eliza and I headed to a pub and, emboldened by wine, I handed my cards out willy-nilly. One dicey moment came when I gave my card to one chap… only to notice his wedding ring as he took it.

Shrugging this off, I soldiered on, and felt hopeful when handing a card to a tall, handsome man who held the door open for us to exit the pub. 

I even gave two out on the long bus ride home, earning me a laugh and a thumbs-up through the window from one guy who had waited until he was safely on the pavement before reading it.

However, I received no messages. It felt far worse than the rejections on dating apps as I had contacted these people in real life.

After all, going to the effort of handing out a card involves a certain vulnerability and shows I was serious about dating. The least I expected was a simple ‘Thanks, but no thanks’ message.

Confidence dented, I carried on as I travelled to King’s Cross station to catch a train back to my hometown of Leeds.

While I naively thought my mission would become easier (due to being egged on by Eliza and the false confidence of alcohol the night before), I spotted an attractive man on the Tube.

Once again, the adrenaline took hold, and my legs shook as I awaited the perfect opportunity to hand over my card, which I did as he reached his stop.

Sophie steps out of her comfort zone to give her dating card to another Londoner, Richard Two

Once at the station, I headed to the train — and saw I had a message request on Instagram. My stomach leapt. Was this it?

‘Hey! I really appreciated the card you shared with me today on the Tube,’ the message, from a man called Travis, read.

‘Not only is it brave to get out of your comfort zone like that, but it also made me smile and I love that you’re bringing joy into the world.’

So far, so good. Until…

‘Unfortunately, I have a girlfriend, so sorry to waste a card — but I love the idea and I noticed your beautiful eyes even before you shared it!

‘I am sure you’ll catch many in the Tube with the same sparkle. Best of luck and keep doing you.’

While it was not what I hoped for, Travis’s lovely message spurred me on to hand out more cards in Leeds — including one in arguably the roughest pub in the city — and as I travelled back to London.

Going to the effort of handing out a card involves a certain vulnerability. Sophie was able to show potential matched that she was serious about dating 

At this point, I was pretty sure Transport for London would flag me for soliciting.

Yet my day was made when a shy, bookish man took my card and looked chuffed, even if it caused the lady sitting opposite me to crack up laughing. Like Travis said, I was spreading a bit of joy — what was wrong with that?

But I was starting to give up hope. Then I received another message on Instagram.

‘Hi, you gave me your card in Starbucks the other week — I also think you’re “cute”,’ it read.

After chatting for a while, it turns out that Dan, dark-haired and blue eyed, and I have a lot in common. We love the same music, and our upbringings were similar. We’ve arranged a date this week. So watch this space.

Would I recommend dating cards to help find love?

Once you get over the crippling anxiety and learn to manage that dizzying adrenaline rush, the cards gave me the same dopamine highs of swiping on an app. 

Sophie’s day was made when a shy, bookish man took her card on the tube and looked flattered. She plans to go on a date with Dan later this week…

I felt nothing short of jubilant when I did eventually begin giving them out — something I never thought I’d have the confidence to achieve.

I got such a sense of power, which had long been missing in my flailing dating life. 

Once I’d learned not to expect a reply just because I had given someone a card, I relaxed into it — even if I had to battle a few odd looks and whispers from the general public.

Indeed, it has been so successful that I always keep one or two dating cards to hand. After all, you never know who might be just around the corner…

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