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<\/p>\nAn ex-colleague wants a relationship off the back of a one-night stand. She says she deserves a chance to prove herself as a proper girlfriend. She\u2019s not interested in casual sex or dates with me, she wants dignity and status.<\/p>\n
But how do I let her down \u00adgently when commitment is the last thing on my mind?<\/p>\n
She and I worked together three years ago. We were best mates, we hung out and had a laugh but never crossed that line \u2013 we never snogged or had sex.<\/p>\n
Three weeks ago, however, our old boss held a Christmas party. All of the old gang were there. There was plenty of booze and we had a ball. <\/p>\n
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READ MORE: 'Woman sent me nude minutes after first date \u2013 I'm freaked and it's getting worse' <\/b><\/p>\n
Keep up to date with the latest saucy tales from Daily Star readers by clicking here <\/b><\/p>\n
Towards the end of the evening this woman sidled up to me with mistletoe.<\/p>\n
We started snogging and couldn\u2019t stop. People cheered and stamped as we gripped each other for dear life. I could hear cries of, \u201cGet a room,\u201d so we did.<\/p>\n
We rushed across the road and booked into a hotel where we romped and screamed all night. I said goodbye to her in the morning thinking no more about it.<\/p>\n
But now she\u2019s insisting I do the decent thing. She\u2019s storming that everyone she cares about will think she\u2019s a slapper if I don\u2019t follow through and make her my full-time girlfriend. She insists that everyone saw us together and she deserves respect.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s texting and calling me all the time. She says that she\u2019s \u00adwilling to be patient but won\u2019t wait forever.<\/p>\n
What does that mean? Is she threatening me? What if she turns into a bunny boiler?<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t consider myself a bad or cruel person but if I don\u2019t want a relationship, then surely, I\u2019m allowed to say that? I thought I knew her but she\u2019s showing a whole other (harder) side.<\/p>\n
JANE SAYS: There\u2019s no denying that this woman sounds disappointed and crushed but you can\u2019t date someone you neither fancy nor desire.<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n
Unfortunately, she now feels embarrassed.<\/i> <\/b> A gang of your ex-colleagues saw you together at the party.<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n
You can see where she\u2019s coming from especially as you and she were such good friends for so many years.<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n
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What you have to do now is be a bigger person. Step up and clear the air before this situation becomes messy.<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n
Can you arrange a face-to-face meeting, in a neutral setting, so that she feels respected and listened to? Can you explain that you\u2019re really sorry, but you\u2019re not in the market for a relationship?<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n
It\u2019s very sad that a once close association has come to this, but you can\u2019t fake interest if it\u2019s not there.<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\nJoin the Daily Star's WhatsApp for the sexiest headlines, showbiz gossip and lots more<\/h3>\n
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It might sound extreme, but you might have to consider contacting a lawyer.<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n
If your drinking is a problem, then do you need to do something about cutting back or stopping altogether?<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n
Let this whole mess be a wake-up call for you to take care and treat others better in future.<\/i> <\/b><\/p>\n