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Being the first parent in a friendship group can be an isolating experience, yet a group of twentysomethings have been praised for excluding a new mum and her baby from their circle. <\/p>\n
One of the disgruntled friends, 24, explained that her friend, Anna, also 24, had a baby six months ago. They used to hang out regularly, but the dynamics of the friendship group started to shift when \u2018Anna wanted to bring the baby everywhere with her\u2019. <\/p>\n
Apparently, Anna can\u2019t bear to leave the baby at home with her boyfriend or babysitter.<\/p>\n
\u2018We tried to plan things around the baby to include Anna, but it always ended up badly,\u2019 the friend wrote on Reddit. \u2018We shouldn\u2019t drink, \u2019cause Anna can\u2019t drink. We shouldn\u2019t be loud, \u2019cause the baby needs to sleep. <\/p>\n
\u2018Icing on the cake is her baby is extremely fussy and cries all the time. It was just a downer for rest of us. So we started hanging out without Anna and her baby.\u2019<\/p>\n
Things came to a head when the friends went on a staycation together without inviting Anna, then posted the pictures on Instagram. <\/p>\n
Unsurprisingly, she saw the snaps and asked why she hadn\u2019t been invited.<\/p>\n
\u2018I tried telling her it was a last minute plan and we could only find a childfree resort so as to not hurt her feelings. She called my bluff sending me pics some random family had posted with kids at the resort,\u2019 the friend said. <\/p>\n
\u2018She kept forcing me and I told her we did not want to hang out with her baby. She asked how can I say that about her baby.<\/p>\n
\u2018I asked her to leave it at that but she wouldn\u2019t. I finally told her its a baby and we are all young. We don\u2019t want to live our life around a baby she chose to have.\u2019<\/p>\n
Ouch. <\/p>\n
The friendship group is now divided, with some believing the friend handled the situation badly, while others thought the truth slap was unavoidable. <\/p>\n
The poster asked whether she was in the wrong and overwhelmingly, commenters on Reddit were on her side. <\/p>\n
\u2018Her life is different, and she probably just needs to find a different set of friends, one that more closely aligns with her interests,\u2019 one person said. <\/p>\n
Another added: \u2018You have every right to want to be young and act like it. She needs to accept that having a baby has changed things for\u00a0her<\/em>\u00a0but that doesn\u2019t mean everyone else has to change everything to accommodate that.\u2019<\/p>\n Others agreed, but suggested ways to compromise so the new mum wasn\u2019t left completely out in the cold.<\/p>\n \u2018As a friend, suggest she finds some mummy groups. She will meet mums that she can relate to in a way that you and your friend group cannot. Also if you all want to maintain the friendship perhaps have one baby friendly get together every month or every other month or perhaps ask her if a family member can babysit every so often so she can meet you guys for brunch or dinner,\u2019 one person said.<\/p>\n \u2018She chose to have a baby and that baby is now her responsibility. It is an unfair and entitled expectation that her friends need to tailor their behavior for her kid. Life does not work like that.\u2019<\/p>\n Having a baby is a life-changing experience, but you can\u2019t expect child-free friends to want to talk nappies and night feeds all the time. <\/p>\n In order to protect your friendships, the NCT recommends not being \u2018too blinkered\u2019.<\/p>\n \u2018No-one will blame you for being quite self- and family-centred for a little while when your child is tiny. Yet at some point, you do have to remember to ask friends questions about their lives too. Your friend will only want to get involved in your life if you still take an interest in theirs,\u2019 it says.<\/p>\n \u2018So remember what your friend has been up to, try and send cards on important days and head out for lunch with them without baby when you can for one-to-one time. It could\u00a0give you both perspective on the highs and lows of your own lives.\u2019<\/p>\n Another way to get friends on side is to focus on the new opportunities you have to hang out \u2013 instead of what you\u2019ve lost. Swap cocktails for a walk somewhere new while the baby is asleep, or invite a pal to swimming. You\u2019ll be surprised how many people enjoy embracing their inner child.<\/p>\n<\/i>How to bridge the gap with your child-free friends <\/h2>\n