TheGood Doctor fans are still reeling from Lea’s brutal rejection ofShaun. Unfortunately, he will now have to see Lea at work every day. It will bedifficult for him to stay focused on his surgeries while nursing a broken heartand dealing with his breakup with Carly.
If you’re in the same boat as Shaun, how can you move onafter confessing romantic feelings to someone you really like and want to date?Here’s some advice the experts shared with Showbiz Cheat Sheet about recoveringfrom a painful rejection. They also gave some advice to Shaun on how he can moveforward.
If someone doesn’t share your romantic interest, back off
It can be difficult to accept rejection from someone you’reinterested in dating, but it’s important to consider the other person’sfeelings. Trying to force a relationship won’t get you very far. This is onemistake Shaun made with Lea, and she responded by beingvery harsh with him.
Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (also known as “Dr. Romance”), psychotherapistand author of Dr.Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today, recommends, backing off as soonas it’s clear the other person isn’t interested. “Back off, be friendly, keepin mind you can’t force someone to like you,” Tessina told Showbiz Cheat Sheet.“Focus on being friends, make sure your behavior is appropriate to friends, andgive the person a chance to know you better. They might change their mind ifthey get to know you, but you’ll push them away if you try to force it. Focuson other people.”
Remember the big picture
Don’t make the person who rejected you the center of your world.It’s important to move forward and get on with your life. This person mostlikely got on with their life, and you should do the same.TanyaPeterson, a counselor and writer for ChoosingTherapy, recommends taking a step back and looking at the big picture. “Rememberyour big picture,” Peterson told us. “What is important to you? How do you wantyour life to be, and what type of person do you want to be? It’s natural to bedisappointed, but you don’t have to make the person and their rejection a starplayer in your life story.”
Consider this a learning experience
Although it’s tough to have someone rebuff your romanticinterest, it’s helpful to use this as a learning experience. Tessina advises acceptingwhat has happened while also reframing the situation and seeing it as a momentyou can learn from:
Accept your disappointment, turn it into a learning experience. Consider whether you focused on the wrong type of person, someone who’s just not a good match for you. If so, start re-evaluating what you think is a good match for you. Put your energy into work, hobbies, friends, family and projects. Back off from dating for a little while, until you get over your disappointment.
How Shaun can recover from getting rejected by Lea
How can Shaun heal from being so brutally rejected by Lea?Peterson says Shaun should focus on staying present, instead of replaying thedisappointment he experienced with Lea. “Stay in the present moment, Shaun!”advises Peterson. “While your mind will naturally speed back to the harshrejection every time you see Lea, pull yourself back to the present andconcentrate on the unemotional interaction in ‘this’ moment. It’s the best wayto keep the emotions from the past from ruining your life with Lea in thepresent.”
Tessina says it’s important for Shaun to work on letting goof Lea and come to terms with the situation. “He needs to understand he made amistake and let go of his feelings for her,” says Tessina. “It isn’t love ifboth people haven’t signed on. Shaun needs to treat Lea like a colleague, andforget that he’s in love with her, because he isn’t really. He’s justfantasizing.”
Read more: ‘TheGood Doctor’: The Meanest Things Lea Has Said to Shaun So Far
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