DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex has named his new child with his current partner after the baby I lost when I was with him. I feel sick to my stomach.
We got together when I was only 17. He was ten years older than me, controlling and abusive. I fell pregnant when I was 19 and he encouraged me to have a termination, but I wanted the baby and chose a name.
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I miscarried at five months. I called my boyfriend when I was taken to hospital but he just said it was a good thing and didn’t come to see me.
I split up with him eventually and now have a new lovely partner, but hearing that my ex has given his new baby the name I’d chosen is a real setback. I keep reliving the day I lost my baby.
My partner is understanding but this isn’t something I can share with him. I’m 26 now and feel so lost and alone.
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not sure whether your ex is malicious or insensitive but it’s understandable that you feel very hurt at having such distressing memories raked up again.
Do tell your partner why you’re unhappy or he may worry.
You can find ongoing support through the Miscarriage Association (miscarriageassociation.org.uk, 01924 200 799).
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