A MAN who lived with a penis on his arm for six years is set to join Tinder – after FINALLY having it removed.
Malcolm MacDonald, 47, was gutted when his manhood fell off in 2010 following a devastating blood infection.
The mechanic was given hope when a specialist medic built him a new six-inch penis which was due to be attached during the same procedure in 2015.
But due to a lack of oxygen in his blood, it was grafted temporarily to his left arm and left there six years due to a series of setbacks.
But after having it hung back in its rightful place, newly confident Malcolm is ready for love – and has already started sussing out online dating.
Malcolm’s long ordeal was finally over when the ‘arm-willy’ was attached in a painstaking nine-hour operation last October.
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The-dad-of-two said: “I’m ready to date again, it’s been 14 years hasn’t it. That’s far too long for any man.
“I am a man. I can go out and I don’t have to be scared of going out and someone pulling my trousers down and there being nothing there.
“I was scared before – I couldn’t take someone home and say ’sorry darlin, it fell off’.
“Life is coming back. I don’t want to sit here and dwell or get my hopes on what the finished story will be as what you want in life never happens.
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“It would be nice though to meet someone. I’d tell them straight away about my story – ‘get it out of the way, it’s done’.”
Top of Malcolm’s dating app list is Tinder – but he says he’s ready to try them all to “”find love”.
While his new penis is back in place he needs another procedure to fit a pump for he will be ready for intimacy.
Malcolm said: “It will be an issue because I don’t know how everything will work but when I woke up and I tensed my muscles I was moving it.
“So the nerve endings are working. That was the day I woke up on the operating table.
“I didn’t care what size it was, I just wanted to be able to point it in the right direction and have a wee."
Single Malcolm, of Thetford, Norfolk, faces more significant operations to get a tube connected from his bladder.
He appeared in a Channel 4 documentary last week telling his incredible story.
“The documentary has helped me out a great deal as if people want to know anything about me, I can point them to the program and say ’there are the answers’.
“People still take the p*ss when I’m down the pub – asking if I’ve still got that co*k on my arm – but they’re not mates, they’re just people I’ve known all my life.
“Thetford is a small town. People still judge me and probably still will for years after this but that’s their problem and their issue. Life goes on, doesn’t it. "
Hospital delays and the Covid pandemic meant the £50,000 NHS-funded appendage had to stay on his arm, turning Malcolm’s life upside down.
An elderly lady once asked him to get an item from the top shelf of a supermarket — but the willy came loose and swung down near her head.
Malcolm told the documentary: “It’s something to tell the grandchildren, isn’t it?”
His penis was created by Professor David Ralph at London’s University College Hospital.
It was made out of flesh from Malcolm’s arm.
He will eventually have a pump in his scrotum to fill it with saline solution, allowing him to prepare it for sex.
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“This could be a turning point in my life. My luck in life hasn’t been too good so far, but it can only go bad for so long, can’t it?
“Can you imagine six years of your life with a penis swinging on your arm? It’s been a nightmare, but it’s gone now — the little bugger.”
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