I thought I was happy with my boyfriend – until I kissed my best friend

DEAR DEIDRE: I THOUGHT I was happy with my boyfriend until my best friend kissed me.

My boyfriend is great but if he mentions us getting married, I feel sick to my stomach.

For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

  • Dear Deidre on Sex
  • Dear Deidre on Relationships
  • Dear Deidre on Marriage
  • Dear Deidre on Family
  • Dear Deidre on Parenting
  • Dear Deidre on Grief

I’m a girl of 28 and he’s 31.

He’s very close to his family. They are lovely people but so traditional.

When he talks to them about getting married, his mother says: “Then you can make me a grandma and carry on the family name.” It makes my skin crawl.

He knows I don’t want children but isn’t sure himself. When it comes to his parents’ comments, he says: “Just relax. Take no notice.”

I worry that if we get married, he’ll pressure me to have a baby.

I didn’t have a happy childhood and don’t feel maternal. I don’t get it when people coo over babies.

I recently went for a walk with my best mate. He’s 29 and we’ve been friends since school. He doesn’t want kids either and gets my position.

As we walked, he put his arm round me then stroked my hair. We stopped at a bench, sat down and he pulled me towards him.

Get in touch in Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

Or private message us via the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

We change all personal details in our published stories to protect your identity.

I was shocked when he said: “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

But it felt great when I kissed him. I eventually pulled back and said I couldn’t be unfaithful. But it has stirred up something in me and he has been on my mind a lot.

I don’t want to hurt anyone — but I don’t want to make the wrong choice either.

All I know is that I think about marriage and kids every day — for all the wrong reasons. I get anxious just thinking about it.

DEIDRE SAYS: There is a chance that neither of these relationships would be right for you.

It is time to have that heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend, making it clear you don’t want kids and are unlikely to change your mind.
Explain to him how anxious you feel about the issue.

He must be fully on board to continue your relationship – and also, he must back your corner where his parents are concerned. It is not their business, anyway.

If you felt the same for your best friend as he does for you, you would probably have been attracted to him long ago.

Arrange to see him again and tell him you don’t want what happened between you to spoil your friendship.

But first, read my support pack Torn Between Two Men to be certain there is no spark there.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My online lover spent my £28,000 inheritance and then dumped me

READ DEIDRE'S NEW PHOTO CASEBOOK Julia has second thoughts about having a threesome

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us 

    Source: Read Full Article