DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I asked my son if he would repay some of the money I spent on him over the years, he stopped calling or replying to my texts.
I split from my sons’ mother 20 years ago, when they were 16 and 14, to be with my partner. We have visited them regularly and had them stay with us.
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Our oldest is married but the youngest has always struggled in life and I have given him deposits for flats, paid rent arrears and bought him cars.
He now has a good job and a partner. When I visited last month I asked if he could repay some money as I am now 67 and living on a pension.
His reaction was not good. When we left he said a very frosty goodbye, but I never thought he’d end all contact.
DEIDRE SAYS: Did you explain when you helped him out that you were just lending him the money?
He may have been more badly affected by your break with his mother than his brother and might still feel the pain of that.
Write to him and say you do not want there to be a rift between you.
Ask how he feels about it all. You can also find understanding support through The Silver Line (see thesilverline.org.uk or call 0800 4 70 80 90).
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