Tiffany Haddish Takes Relationship Advice From John Mayer, Plus More of the Best Celebrity Quotes of the Week

See what the stars are saying this week

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“John Mayer has been giving me relationship advice, and he said that if there’s somebody I like that’s in the eye of the public, I should, when I’m doing interviews, say that I’m seeing that person. And then the media will do a side-by-side of us and then the guy will see it and be like, ‘Oh, she’s kinda cute. I mean, I’m not hooking up with her, but I could hook up with her.’ And then there’ll be some kind of interaction.”

— Tiffany Haddish, sharing the life-changing relationship advice she got from John Mayer before joking that she’s been “seeing” the Yankees’ Giancarlo Stanton, on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

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“You know, I think the 40s are the best decade. You just get to be real with yourself, and you can also make necessary changes because you have the experience of looking back on four decades. Looking at patterns and seeing what things really work. You get to let go of giving a s— about anything. You’re done! Don’t care. I really don’t. It’s such a relief.”

— Cameron Diaz, on letting go and living life to the fullest in her 40s, in InStyle‘s 25th anniversary special 

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“I had a chef to go shopping, a stylist to do this, all that. I don’t really go shopping, so I don’t really know the prices of stuff … So I go into Old Navy and I start buying stuff. So I grabbed what I felt was like, [laughs], a lot of stuff, like it’s got to be $100,000. Not a $100,000 but just speaking in that sense. I got up to the register and it was like $500. I was like, ‘Holy s—, I thought this was way more.’”

— Dwyane Wade, on finding it difficult to run errands in public during his time with the Miami Heat and “freaking out” over the affordable prices during his first trip to Old Navy since retiring, to Sports Illustrated 

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“I said, ‘Dad, dad, she’s a hooker, so don’t ask her any questions.’ He’s like, ‘What?! She’s a hooker?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, what do you think? They don’t always dress in fishnets and lingerie, dad.’ And then he was just like, ‘That Charlie.’ And then he goes, ‘Well, that was nice of you to invite her in for dinner.’ “

— Denise Richards, on the time ex-husband Charlie Sheen brought a hooker to her home for Thanksgiving dinner, and how she explained it to her (very understanding) dad, Irv, on Daddy Issues podcast 

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“Looking back, when I shot my first InStyle cover, I was insecure. I felt like I needed to be someone I wasn’t in order to be accepted. I allowed other people’s ideas of who they thought I should be to define me … Who am I now? I give zero f—s. I have three children. They’ve exploded my body, and I’m cool with it. And I know I’m smart. I don’t care what everybody else thinks. I’m good, girl. I’m good.”

— Jessica Alba, on how her self-confidence has improved since her first InStyle cover in June 2007, for the magazine’s 25th anniversary issue honoring past cover stars

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“I never thought I would have kids at such an early age, but I did and it’s been a real blessing ’cause I get to be the cool dad now. It was really, really, really difficult at first. I did not know how to be a dad, how to take care of kids and how to be there for them. I feel pretty confident that I’m able to now, and it’s great.”

— Scott Disick, on learning to embrace fatherhood since having his first child, son Mason Dash, with ex Kourtney Kardashian at age 26, in a preview from his new E! series Flip It Like Disick

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“Raise your hand if you’ve heard of the drink called the Rusty Nail. A Rusty Nail is scotch and Drambuie. The first sip tastes like your grandmother’s underpants but after the second sip, you’re ordering two more. Next thing you’re in the emergency room getting tetanus shot because you end up shooting yourself in the foot with a rusty nail gun. That’s a Rusty Nail.”

— Will Ferrell, reprising his iconic Anchorman character Ron Burgundy, during a hilariously unfunny standup set on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, as part of his week-long visit to every late night show on network television 

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“They said I had a huge jaw. They said I had a ‘potato head.’ When you’re 14 or 15, I didn’t really understand having value in myself yet. My mind went to, ‘Okay, so if I get skinny or if I dress the right way or present myself very hyper-sexually and dress this way, then I’ll be valued.’ So much for me became wrapped up in that my value set is based on what other people think of me, and had nothing to do with what I thought about myself.”

— Rumer Willis, on how public criticism of her appearance negatively impacted her at a young age and how she’s learned to cope, to HuffPost 

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“It’s not really madness. It’s a lot of Shania Twain …  We just eat gummy bears and Cheetos, and play beer pong.”

— Post Malone, making us even more eager to get backstage at one of his concerts after telling Jimmy Fallon what it’s really like behind the scenes, on The Tonight Show

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“No, I don’t even remember the wedding. Again, I was drunk most of the time.”

— Eva Longoria, on having one drink too many at pal Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries to remember if she could sense their marriage wouldn’t last (they made it 72 days), on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen 

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