Imagine still having to publicly comment on a relationship that ended more than 15 years ago!
Most people are lucky enough to leave their romantic past in the past, but Sophia Bush doesn’t have that luxury. Unfortunately, because her brief marriage to One Tree Hill co-star Chad Michael Murray was so closely tied to her career and public persona, she still gets asked about it to this day.
After fielding these questions for more than a decade, though, the actress has developed a policy of non-answers. During an appearance on Tuesday’s episode of her fellow 2000s The WB star Michael Rosenbaum’s podcast Inside of You, she explained about her famous ex:
“Oh, I’m not going to talk about him. … I’m not allowed to because I’ve tried to poke fun at being a dumb kid and whenever I’ve done that, it gets twisted into I’m talking s**t about somebody who I don’t even know anymore, who’s clearly a grown-up.”
Oh, inneresting! She added:
“I think you have to laugh at who you used to be, but when people ask me about history that involves someone else… it’s not worth my time. It’s not a place where I harbor ill will or anything.”
What a mature way of looking at it! You could hold onto all the grudges, keep an image of the person you used to know in your head… but you aren’t the same person anymore, they aren’t the same person anymore. Why bother??
Even if they did cheat on you with Paris Hilton. Right?
When Rosenbaum observed these comments never “come out right,” she agreed:
“It never does! And I’ve tried to like, you know, do the thing where when I get stuck live on the air — which has happened to me twice — getting asked about it where I give a little…like jazz hands quip and move on. It just doesn’t work, so I’m not going to.”
We totally understand the 39-year-old’s feelings on the matter. Not only do these comments tend to get pulled out of context by the media, but sometimes it results in things such as her ex-husband releasing a statement on the matter or his current wife making teasing social media posts about it. It’s a pretty uncomfortable thing to have play out publicly.
However, the Chicago P.D. alum did reiterate her youth as a reason for the short-lived marriage. After all, she was just 21 YEARS OLD, as she reminded fans:
“I was a very naïve 21-year-old kid, and that’s all there is to it. … I think lots of people do stupid s–t before their prefrontal cortexes are fully formed and they’re not until they’re 26. So you do the math on my timeline. I literally didn’t have a whole brain.”
Having a disappointing first nuptial experience in her past (and constantly looming over her present) hasn’t soured her on the institution entirely, though. She reflected:
“I think it depends on what people’s motivations are and I want to make sure, whether it’s myself or one of my best friends, that we’re clear on what it is we’re signing up for rather than thinking we’re getting some Kate Hudson and Matt McConaughey rom-com life. This notion that you’re going to meet your person and they’re going to make you so happy that you’re going to be fulfilled and you’ll never be nervous again and you’ll never ever think anyone else is hot — like what? It’s such an absurd joke.”
“What I am a fan of, what I am a believer in is real partnership, real intimacy that comes with radical honesty and with ground rules of always giving your partner the benefit of the doubt while asking questions, while being able to be vulnerable, admit when you’re afraid, admit when you’re being triggered by something else. You have to do a lot of work.”
Damn. That’s about as far as you can get from a naïve 21-year-old kid’s perspective on romance, huh? We’re glad she has figured out what works for her — especially because that wisdom was clearly hard-won.
Are YOU able to let all your old grudges against exes go??
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